Canine Consciousness Rules the Day

November 27th, 2009
Posted by | Posted in Dog's Eye View, Fun 1,148 views

Fountain of YouthThe room was dark and shadowy, almost symbolic that we were meeting in secret.  It was as if it wanted to protect and shield us from outsiders and other influences.  We were in the basement of Milk Bone Pickens High. The first meeting of the Beefy Snack Club was under way.

I didn’t expect to see new faces but sure enough, word had spread.  There was the usual motley crew that followed me around but now there was a Whippet named Gonzo.  He was quite vocal.

“We’re here because we all like snacks,” Gonzo began.  “I like pig ears. They’re delicious!”

Some dogs squirmed in their seats with some covering their eyes in disbelief.

“What?,” Gonzo replied with incredulity. “It’s both high in protein and satisfying to the palette.”

“We’re here because we like snacks but I’d like the club to be about something else,” Karma said softly.  Everyone turned their head to where she was sitting.  Even Gregio and Stella stopped biting each other’s snout in that friendly way Italian Greyhounds do. “I think an issue we can all agree on is abstinence.”

“No way, no how,” Luke, the captain of the Dog Squad, barked. “That’s a slippery slope, for sure.  Next thing you know it, you won’t want to teach Darwinism and replace it with lectures on Intelligent Design.  Besides, I like to get it on with the ladies!”

He held up a paw and gave a high five to Gregio.  The other males around him howled in support and started wrestling, momentarily forgetting that we were in the middle of a meeting.

Gonzo“The reason I think we should support it…,” Karma strained to get herself heard over the ruckus. “The reason I support it is because it would cut down on puppy mills and unwanted dogs.”

This caught everyone off guard and quieted the room.  I was at the front, leading the meeting from a lectern and gave Karma a wink.  It was a smart rebuttal from a smart dog.

“On that same subject, I wonder how we evolved?,” Delfina inquired.

“Hey, Delfina has a good point,” Deja pounced into the conversation. I had no idea what she saw in it.  Even Mea stopped giving herself a bath to listen.  “We aren’t human, we’re just dogs… canines.”

“Yeah, so what’s your point?,” Mea asked.

“Don’t you guys get it or wonder about it all?,” Deja said excitedly. “Where did we get our canine consciousness?  How are we able to have thoughts, emotions, and form rational, logical ideas?  How in the world can we even speak, let alone live these types of lives?”

I hadn’t even thought about that before.  How is it that we live in a constructed society and live a normal life?  It’s not normal and had to come from somewhere.  Not every dog is able to do what we can do.

“I think I know, I think I know!,” a voice said from the back.  It was Zoey and she was hidden behind the others.  “We all drank from a magic water dish.  Like the fountain of youth.”

This was followed by guffaws and chuckles with some shaking their heads at the idea.  But it was intriguing and even a bit mystical.  How did we get here and what was our origin?  How could we conduct ourselves and speak while others couldn’t? Plus, isn’t high school all about self discovery?

“I like the idea, and the constitution of the Beefy Snack Club shall be founded on the origins of canine consciousness,” I said, raising the gavel above my head.  “All those in favor, bark once.  Opposed, bark twice!”

A deafening bark of approval filled the room, and I pounded the gavel on the lectern.  The Beefy Snack Club was born.

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