Jokes
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Father and Son Walk
Father and son were walking hand in hand when they saw two dogs “doing it” in the middle of the street.
The dad got all flustered and told his son that the big brown dog hurt his paw, and the little white dog was helping him across the street. The boy thought a minute, then looked up and said, “Isn’t that just like life? You try to help someone and get screwed!”
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A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a new litter of Labrador puppies. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother, “There were three boy Labrador puppies and four girl Labrador puppies.”
“How did you know that?” his mother asked.
“Daddy picked them up and looked underneath,” he replied. “I think it is printed on their bottoms.
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New Dog Cross Breeds
– Have you heard about the new dog cross-breeds?
They crossed a Collie and a Lhasa Apso. The new breed is a Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy transport.
They crossed a Spitz and a Chow-Chow. The new breed is a Spitz-Chow, a dog that throws up a lot.
They crossed a Pekingese and a Lhasa Apso. The new breed is Peekasso, an abstract dog.
They crossed a Labrador Retriever and a Curly Coated Retriever. The new breed is a Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of laboratory researchers.
They crossed a Pointer and a Setter. The new breed is a Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet.
They crossed a Irish Water Spaniel and a English Springer Spaniel. The new breed is a Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean.
They crossed a Newfoundland and a Basset Hound. The new breed is a Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors
They crossed a Bloodhound and a Labrador. The new breed is a Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly.
They crossed a Malamute and a Pointer. The new breed is a Moot Point, owned by….oh, well, it doesn’t really matter.
They crossed a Collie and a Malamute. The new breed is a Commute, a dog that travels to work.
They crossed a Deerhound and a Terrier. The new breed is a Derriere, a dog that’s true to the end.
They crossed a Bull Terrier and a ShihTzu. The new breed is a uhh, I’ll get back to you on that…..
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Dogs In Need
A little girl was out with her Grandmother when they came across a couple of dogs mating on the sidewalk.
“What are they doing, Grandma?” asked the little girl.
The grandmother was embarrassed, so she said, “The dog on top has hurt his paw, and the one underneath is carrying him to the doctor.”
“They’re just like people, aren’t they Grandma?” said the little one.
“How do you mean?” asked the Grandma.
“Offer someone a helping hand,” said the little girl, “and they screw you every time!”
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Yo Quiero
The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a doggie bar having a drink when a good-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, “Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can date me.”
So the Doberman says, “I love liver and cheese.” The Collie says, “That’s not good enough.”
The Bulldog says, “I hate liver and cheese.”
She says, “Nope, that’s not creative enough.”
Finally, the Chihuahua says, “Liver alone! Cheese mine.”
