The Barreling Humper

Lost Souls: Found!
The following story was written by Shereen Raucci about her adopted Golden Retriever Pierce. It appears in the book “Lost Souls: Found! Inspiring Stories About Golden Retrievers.” If you like it, pick up a copy at http://happytailsbooks.com! The proceeds support Golden Rescue.
Classified Ad: “11-month-old Golden Retriever, free to good home. Crate included.”
My husband, Paul, and I had three rescued cats, but I wanted a dog. I grew up with dogs, but Paul had not, so he took some convincing. There were no more excuses. We no longer lived in an apartment, we had a cabin with a small fenced yard, my boys from a previous marriage were grown, and since Paul was traveling frequently for work, I was lonely.
My last dog had died shortly before Paul and I met. Over the years I’d scanned the classifieds for a dog and picked up the phone to call, but never did. Finally, now I could follow through.
“I’m calling about your ad for the Golden,” I said.
The guy on the other end replied, “He’s terrible, but if you want to meet him….”
Apparently the man’s ex-wife had given him a puppy as a surprise Christmas present, but they had never bonded. He said the dog had bad hips, was fat, untrained, and terrible; I probably wouldn’t want him. I insisted on meeting him anyway.
I told Paul I was going to look at a dog, but that was it…nothing about the bad hips. In fact, I didn’t tell him anything that the guy had told me. Instead, I just described general positive attributes that would convince my husband we would adopt this golden boy.
After work, I went alone to meet my new dog. I followed the perfect brick path to the front door, where the man asked me to leave my shoes; it was winter and apparently he didn’t want anything tracked in. He led me through the immaculate living room, carpeted in white, past the little Scotties that were allowed in the house, and down the stairs into the damp basement. As he opened the door, he said, “He’ll probably hump you; he’s a terrible dog.”
Sure enough, as I stepped through the door and onto the cold concrete floor, I was practically bowled over by a huge Golden, barreling towards me at full-speed! As he humped my leg and chewed on my forearm, I looked around the sterile room, bare except for a dog crate, food bowl, and water bowl. Through the sliding glass doors, I could see that the Scotties had a wonderful yard to play in, so why was this Golden stuck in the basement like this?
There was no way I was leaving him there. I said, “I want him.” I leashed him, and up the stairs we flew! I almost fell as he pulled me along the icy path and then screeched to a halt at the car. I opened the door and said, “Hop up,” but he stood his ground and wouldn’t get in.
The guy said, “I never took him anywhere,” and just went back in the house, leaving me to shove this obese Golden into my backseat by myself. I left the crate on the sidewalk, drove away, and in less than a block had a happy dog in the front with me, head out the window, loving life!
Since Paul was working in town that week, I stopped at his job site to introduce him to his new dog. With me at the end of the leash, the dog dragged me, slipping and sliding, through the mud. He flung me through the door of the unfinished home addition my husband was working on, and we came to an ungraceful stop at Paul’s feet. Shocked, Paul appraised his new overweight, unruly, and matted Golden. The poor dog was so fat that his belly rolled from side to side when he ran!
I said, “Hi, Honey! Here’s our new dog.”
Should I have described him a little more accurately when I asked Paul if we could take him? Possibly, but oops, too late, he was ours!
We named the dog Pierce, after Pierce Brosnan, as Paul is a huge James Bond fan. Mr. Brosnan was an appropriate namesake because he, too, had a rough start in life, but stuck it out to be a successful, happy man (and pretty nice looking too – just like our Pierce turned out to be!).
During his first few months with us, Pierce tore up t-shirts, chewed up a couch, stole apple pies, distressed cats, and peed on beds. No shower was complete without Pierce either in it with us or tearing down the curtain to make sure we were there!
Four years later, Pierce hikes and swims and loves all the things any Golden should. Instead of shredding t-shirts, he chews tennis balls and plays endless fetch, which has helped him shrink from a hefty 135 lbs. to a healthy 86 lbs.
I love my formerly obese, unruly, arthritic, hip-dysplasia-affected, barreling humper and wouldn’t have him any other way!
Tags: dog adoption, dog rescue, golden retriever, Happy Tails Books







