Rules to Walk By

April 22nd, 2010
Posted by | Posted in Personal Stories, Tips 1,114 views

Because I have walked with my dog Chance for hundreds of miles in Manhattan–from the Upper West Side all the way down to Tribeca–I consider myself somewhat knowledgeable about the rules that govern a city’s dog walk. Of course, these rules are somewhat flexible and situation specific, but by and large Chance adheres to the following rules:

1. Poop only when you have an audience. Take your time and block as much of the sidewalk as possible. An optimal spot is in front of a crowded restaurant (outside seating a plus). Another good spot is the area immediately next to the driver’s side door of a parked and occupied car. Be sure to kick your back legs triumphantly when complete.

2. Watch out for little dogs. They have an attitude that is disproportionate to their size.

3. When approaching another dog, make sure that you both circle each other so your owners’ leashes become tangled.

4. Approach each walk like it’s a buffet. Discarded chicken wings are a delicacy that must be eaten immediately. You have approximately five seconds to consume the entire wing before your owner can fish it out of your mouth.

For the rest of Chance’s Rules to Walk By, visit my blog by clicking the following link.

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